Intercessor

I am seeing the devastating effects of the enemy's attacks on the lives of people I care about and love so much. The enemy is spotting the gaps in their spiritual walls and taking full advantage of the weakness of their lives. I see space. I see gaps.

Where are the intercessors?

I am an intercessor. I refuse to stand by and allow the enemy to squeeze through the holes of the walls and take shots at those whom I love.

To the enemy, I am armed and dangerous. Wanna know why?

I have an armor that is like nothing you can find in any military or special ops group in the world.

A belt of truth is fastened about my waist. I refuse to remove this truth from my life. It is my rock. My breastplate protects me from the attacks to destroy my heart. I also have a helmet of salvation strapped tightly to my head.

I hold a shield-which extinguishes EVERY single arrow that comes my way. I can also use that shield to protect others.

I am covered in thick, impenetrable armor.

and the object I grip tightly within my hand...

It causes satan and his demons to flinch and cringe with disgust, knowing that they have nothing to tear it down.

What is that object you ask?

It is a double edged sword.

It penetrates.

It moves.

This sword is the very breath of God...His Word.

Within my heart is a fiery passion for my commander in this army--to whom I have vowed to fight for until the death.

When I open my mouth to speak, the demons tremble. Not because of any eloquent words or impressive speech.

They tremble because of the name that rests upon my tongue. The name of one whose power is coursing through my veins.

JESUS.

I smile even as I type the name. :)

It is a name of victory...

of freedom

of life

of joy

of peace

of hope

and of POWER!

At the sound of that name...THEY. MUST. FLEE!!!

So when they creep sneakily towards the holes in those walls...

I stand in the way.

I block the arrows.

I block the shots.

I kneel.

I speak in the name of Jesus.

In all humility and all confidence in my Mighty God...

I pray earnestly, fervently, relentlessly...

so the gaps may be filled and lives may be restored to their Creator.

so that the voice of Truth may resound loudly within the hearts of all peoples.

Let God arise!

God is greater than the enemy that seeks to destroy us.

I refuse to stand by idly and think, "oh, what a shame. I wish God would do something."

No.

I will stand in the mighty power of God...

as the Intercessor.

I will not quit, because He didn't quit

Pain came knocking at my door tonight.

He has been visiting me for quite some time, unwanted might I add. If you've been following my blogs over the past year or so, I'm sure you can see what I am talking about. (Insecurity with singing/my voice)

The enemy knows my painful spot and he somehow seems to bring it up at just the right times. When pain appeared at my doorstep tonight, I was reminded of the wound that was created 16 years ago when a boy on the playground said something to me. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, but it cut deep. Now that wound is reopened every so often. (By the way, I don't believe the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." It's totally false.)

As I sat on the floor this evening, tears welling up in my eyes, I was reminded of the words I read from a chapter in Miles McPherson's book, DO Something.

"I will not quit, because He didn't quit."

I spoke those words 8 times and rose up from the ground. I cannot give up this fight. I refuse to give up. Yes, it may hurt and yes, I will continue to face hardships, but I will not quit. I press on. Not for self...because I am a flawed human being. I press on for my Lord God. JESUS. He holds my hope and life in His hands. He is my light, my strength and my song.

In Christ alone, my hope is found.

He is my light, my strength, my song.

This cornerstone, this solid ground,

firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

No power of hell, no scheme of man

can ever pluck me from His hand!

On Christ the solid rock I stand,

all other ground is sinking sand.

All other ground is sinking sand.

Finish Strong

I've been wrestling.

Wrestling with a lot of thoughts.

I've been trying to figure things out.

I've been asking a lot of questions...

"Lord, is this really where you want me?"

Almost anyone can start something, but only those who trust in the Lord will have the strength and courage to finish. Not only to finish, but to finish well. I started this around 3 1/2 years ago and it was easy then. I had an exciting road ahead of me which was full of the unknown. That part was easy.

Now that I am preparing for my recital and I've been in a dry time, it all seems so overwhelming and I don't feel that fire and passion that I once felt at the beginning of my time here at school.

I have often wanted to quit.

But I didn't.

I have learned to cling to my Savior and continue working hard, even if I may not enjoy my responsibilities and commitments at the time.

But the Lord has been revealing a few things to me.

"Being confident of this that He who began a good work in you will carry it through to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

-Philippians 1:6

I need to FINISH well. Spiritual growth doesn't occur at the beginning of a race. It is when your legs are getting sore, your feet are blistering, you are panting for breath, you are sweating and weary when your faith and strength is tested.

I am 3/4 of the way through this small "marathon" in my life. I want to finish well. This means that I must commit each day to DOING what needs to be done to achieve this goal.

What is the goal?

I want to be prepared to stand up on that stage and know that I gave my absolute best. I want to finish strong and fully lift my voice to my Creator as I communicate the gift of music to my audience. I am not going to be a performer in the Metropolitan Opera. I will never be a full-time performer.

But of this I am certain...

The Lord has called me to lead His people in worship. It is necessary for me to press on through these trials and hardships so that I can become stronger.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance; perseverance must finish its work so you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:2-4

I will keep my eyes fixed on the goal so that I may be the woman He has called me to be.

Marvin Sapp-Never would have made it.

I WILL make it with the strength and guidance of my Savior.

Perspective

It's been a rainy, dreary day.

I've been sitting here in my dorm room for quite some time and I've just felt sleepy and...well...just "blah".

For some reason, I've been feeling a bit negative and was tempted to be complaining about the school semester with so much going on, wanting to be finished with college soon, frustrating classes, etc.,

Then I realized how selfish I am being. Complaining. Negativity. Moping.

Do these adjectives describe Jesus Christ? I think not.. Since I am striving to be more like Him, there's something wrong with me that I need to change.

Time for a self-check!

So, I went to google and typed "poverty" into the search engine under "images".

Here is what I found:

Perspective.

General Revelation: Encountering God through nature

A hot cup of tea. Sitting in the lighthouse overlooking the lake of the Ozarks. Living in a beautiful lakehouse for this entire week is so refreshing. It has given my family an opportunity to rest, relax and be refreshed after the stresses and busyness of life and ministry. I was awakened by God this morning, then quickly got myself ready and went out to the large deck on the back of the lake house. The sun was shining over the lake which caused the water to sparkle like twinkling stars.

Oh to be still and surrounded by the beauty of nature...free from sirens, rushing cars and loud voices from the big city.

I am so thankful for this vacation. I don't think that this could have come at a more perfect time. The stresses of life and college have taken a toll on me and brought me to a point where I felt completely burnt out and lacking motivation.

Staring out the window to the ozark waters brings a wonderful peace upon my soul. It is amazing how nature is able to have a peaceful effect on our minds and spirits. Is it any surprise? God made all that we see in nature. We are able to encounter God through His creation...of COURSE we feel more at peace. Why is it that technology brings stress upon our lives?...it clutters our minds and our lives. So why do we continue to cling to these things that bring turmoil and anxiety?

When we are feeling overwhelmed with things in our lives, the first thing we should do is escape to nature and spend time being still.

General Revelation--encountering God through his creation.

I cannot think of a single time when I was outside in nature, in the stillness and silence and felt stressed or far from God.

Each time I sit quietly and stare at the beautiful waters, trees and animals, I feel nothing but peace and love. It is almost as if God were whispering, "I made all that you see, Leah. I created this for your pleasure and enjoyment so that you could know me more. When you see the water, remember my love for you as I washed you clean. Be still and enjoy my presence."

It is in these times when we are still that we can encounter God.

Be still my soul, be still.

Be still my soul, be still.

Wait patiently upon the Lord,

Be still my soul, be still.

-Kari Jobe, Be still

This song is playing on my iTunes right now. What an appropriate song for this moment! How often do we take time to be still and look around at His creation? If we do not feel close to God, then I suggest that we get away from the noise and bustle of our lives, and go spend time gazing upon His nature...and wait patiently.

Be still and know that I am God.

-Psalm 46:10

Learning the art of Love

Piles of clutter stacked high in the dorm room.

Trash that sits...forgotten to be taken out on her turn (for several days, leaving a stench in the room).

My hair spray goes missing repeatedly...and right when I am in need of it.

....

and the list can go on.

These are just a few of the small things that have bugged me while living with a family member. I hate complaining, so I am trying to be very cautious with how I express my feelings on this matter. The fact is, I LOVE my family. Really, I do. But lets admit it...there are things that they do that drive me crazy!

Before this past summer began (when my refreshment and transformation occurred), I would readily show my frustration to a member of a family when they did (or didn't) do something. It is so easy to let my frustration get out of control...But after this summer, I have learned to be more at peace and calm.

"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."

-Proverbs 29:11

These words truly resonated with me when I first stumbled across them when reading through one of Bob Russell's weekly devotions in "The Lookout". I am child of the Most High God. I am called to reflect and imitate Him. This means that I should not be easily angered, but rather keep myself under control. It cannot be helped when something irritates us. That is a natural feeling we cannot prevent. But we can CHOOSE how to deal with those feelings of frustration.

When I am frustrated with my sister or anyone else in my family, I take a deep breath and pray that God would remove any hint of selfishness and pride so that I may be more like Jesus Christ. Whenever I pray this prayer, I already feel at peace in my spirit. By praying to God in the midst of my frustration, I am admitting that I am in desperate need of a perfect, holy God and His power to work in my life.

LOVE is a choice. I saw 2 bags of trash sitting by the door. I could have chosen to yell or complain, but instead I walked across the room, put on my flip flops, grabbed the bags of trash and walked them down to the dumpster. It took all of 5 minutes. Next time, I'll patiently explain that I took out the trash the past 2 times and then ask her if she could take it out next time.

So many relationships are ruined by selfishness while it would have been so much easier to take a deep breath, look towards the other person's interests and needs and then love with selfless service.

At first, it is not easy to love in this way. We live in a very selfish culture where people are so self-absorbed and self-consumed. To serve others and put their interests before your own is extremely counter-culture, but I think it's time to make a splash in this pool of selfishness. Let's move against the tide and be thoughtful and sensitive to those around us. Instead of spending hours gazing at ourselves in the mirror of our minds, let us pull out the binoculars and look for opportunities to "wash feet". Let us study the art of Love that has been beautifully painted by the life of a humble carpenter.

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

-Mark 10:45

Summer of Transformation

At the beginning of summer, I was feeling weak, weary and dry in my spiritual life. The summer has reached an end and I no longer feel the way I felt 3 months ago. I cannot even begin to explain all the details of this marvelous journey with my Lord.

I was able to read a book "The Lost Art of True Beauty", by Leslie Ludy. This book made me evaluate a great deal of issues in my life. I was challenged to recapture the art of true beauty and dig deep into my soul to find the woman that God originally made me to be.

When I was a teenager, I was adamant about being passionate and on fire for God. But in my quest and pursuit for passion and drivenness for the kingdom, I found myself at the other extreme: being too busy and stressed.

I learned a great deal about myself while reading Leslie Ludy's book. I'm just going to be real and transparent for a moment:

All my life, I have been very outgoing. In recent years, my friendly personality has come across the wrong way. It then began to get out of control because I felt that people needed to simply deal with how I actually am. Looking back on my 21 years before this past summer, "Gentle" or "At peace" would not have been words I would use to describe myself. I have always loaded things onto my plate in an attempt to serve more and pour out more. I struggled with learning to say "no" to things because I felt that I was capable of accomplishing these tasks. I also figured that "nobody else will do it, so I guess I need to step up to the plate!"

While pouring over the pages of this book, I felt as if Leslie were sitting across from me and telling me things about myself. She was talking about how women today are basically so bold, intense, acting more like a guy, not dressing like a lady..but rather settling for sweat pants and t-shirts 90 percent of the time...etc.,

Well, I have always tended to be abrasive. I'm not going to lie. My passionate personality turned into an attitude that was very "in your face"...and I didn't realize the intensity or seriousness of this part of me until Leslie Ludy pointed them out in the book.

Over the past month and a half, I have been in a deep search for finding that true, gentle, feminine woman inside of me. It doesn't help that over the past decade (at least), femininity is almost nonexistent...well, the femininity that God originally created in his women. When you turn on the TV, women are usually powerhouse females who take control of all the household affairs and decisions. The men on these sitcoms are made to look stupid and incapable of accomplishing anything. (This is one reason I have done away with watching such shows..)

In order to become a woman after God's own heart, I had to completely reevaluate my life, actions and attitude.

If only you could see my notebook while I read this book! I was constantly scribbling notes and creating lists so that I could almost "recreate" myself.

Day after Day, I spent time reading, evaluating and spending a great deal of time meditating over myself. God revealed many things that needed to be drastically transformed. It were almost as if he said, "Leah, surrender these things to me. Allow me to chisel away at the imperfections and flaws so I can shape you into a woman after my own heart. Be of courage...for a cowardly girl cannot venture on this long journey and find my heart. Only those who will truly deny the pleasures of this world, destroy the flesh, and follow me will truly find my heart."

I was only able to hear the beckoning voice of my King because I had taken time this summer to simplify and step away from technology so that I could draw nearer to the feet of Jesus.

It is amazing how technology clutters our minds and hearts, preventing us from seeing God and walking with Him.

Over the past couple weeks, I have made specific goals for myself. It has been so amazing to step back and allow God to work in my life to transform me more into the likeness of Jesus. This transformation process will not be an easy path to walk, but I know the goal to which I am working towards. One moment I am dwelling on the pressures of this world, but the next moment, my mind has taken to a place beyond this world...ahh to be with my King in Glory! No pain. No hurt. No deadlines to meet. No sadness. No persecution. Just dwelling and walking with my precious Lord. :) There is an old hymn that comes to mind when I think about seeing Jesus:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

and the things of earth will grow strangely dim

in the light of His Glory and Grace!

When I turn my eyes upon Jesus and truly seek Him with all that is within me, the problems and stress of this world seem to fade away.

Stress and anxiety--when you let it overtake you, it is a result of a lack of trust in God.

I now have a method for when I begin to complain about something--Sit down and start to write down all of the blessings I have in my life.

When I feel worry, stress or anxiety begin to spark, I stop and take a deep breath.....and then I begin to pray and truly put Philippians 4:4-7 into action.

I've already worked on these things in the past couple days and the amazing thing is that my entire attitude and perception of things has altered! I long to be a woman after God's own heart, just like David was a man after God's own heart. I long to be a slave to the cross just as Paul was...forsaking pleasures of this earth in exchange for the joy found in Christ alone.

I want to live a life of total and complete trust in Jesus Christ...never allowing worry or stress to steal my joy. I want to be full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

I'll be honest and admit that I was not overly excited to get back to CCU. I AM eager to learn and soak up all the Biblical and Musical training possible, but I DONT miss the silly drama that takes place and the noise of the city. I have spent an entire summer of rest and rejuvenation..spending time in peace, simplicity and getting to spend time with my earthly Dad :) But as much as I hate to leave that refreshing time, I have realized that there is a time to rest on the Mountaintop, but then there is a time to go back down into the valley.

It gives me great assurance and peace to know that no matter where I am, God is with me. That is a reason to rejoice!